BeLL's..

我不知足..

2010-07-14T09:00:00.000-07:00

我不知足..

有时候..要求越高..当事情的进展或结果或反应不如我所愿时..我就会很不开心..越不开心..我就会钻牛角尖..越钻牛角尖..我的要求就越高..

事情循环下去..就越显得我不知足..

我不知足..

课业上..处事上..甚至..爱情上..

对不起..

我不懂温柔..我不会体谅..我自私..我无理取闹..

我都知道..

但我真的不擅长处理我的情绪..

我不了解自己..更不了解你..

我们沟通出现问题了吗??

我们性格不合吗??

我不知道..

想要努力改变..想要变成能和你和睦相处的人..

但..
我就是不知足..

I can't think of any title for this post..

2010-05-14T04:28:00.001-07:00

When was my last post?Honestly I've forgotten..
Again..Lazy..U guys should know that clearly..

Y I am blogging again?cause I just woke up..nothing to do..n kinda emotional..
As what I've put as my personal message in msn..yes.."Not in mood"..
First of all thank to those who did care about me thru msn or sms..it's warm..although I didn't tell any of u the reason y I felt down..never tell cause I never know..

My friends even myself always think that I like being in Penang more than in Ipoh..In fact, do I??I like Penang cause I can hang out always n I can be updated with many info here..I admit that I did kinda love to stay in Pg rather than Ipoh before..but I am NOT anymore..It seems quite suffering for me to stay here for any longer..I miss Ipoh n my mama my papa all my family my church n my friends..Please God..Let me out of here asap..I want to graduate!!!I want my diploma life to end asap!!I am saying this not because of I hate or don't like my Pg friends..getting know with anyone of u is the best thing I've ever met in Pg..but meanwhile..I wish to have a peaceful life..compare to Ipoh..Life in Pg is definitely tense..recently a question sounds like "have I enroll the right course?" always pop-up in my mind..what the hell am I thinking huh?I have been wasting my time n money all the time here?!Could it be? NO WAY!!! since I've already paid the credits to come here to study..I'll finish it with the best I can..I know that I have the ability to fight n ends up with victory..God bless me..

by the way..just an announcement..me myself, Lee Bau Yin or Ah bao or Ah bell is currently having a very good n sweet n stable relationship with Tan Siang Yiap or Sunzane or Ah boy muahahahahahahahahahahaXD
Don't jealous friends..bless me hehe..

aikz..after releasing my tension..feel much better..I Love You..whoever..

:) =) ^^

...

2010-03-22T05:40:00.000-07:00

回到怡保了..在这里, 我是宅女..大部分的时间我都躲在家里..足不出户..今天..也不例外..

心情满糟的..做什么事情都感觉无心无力..整天都在上fb..无聊..突然觉得自己很没用..很多小事情都不会做..我知道自己不应该这样想..但很多时候自卑的心态就是躲不过残酷的现实..太多的事情, 令爱比较的我自豪不起来..天父求你赦免我的罪..

我今天post了一句话.."Never pay hardwork on something which you are not talented in"..赞同吗??我认为这不是消极..是清楚自己的缺点, 走对的路, 免得浪费时间..不是吗??是吧..

今天睡到一点多才起床..是因为知道反正早起除了对身体好之外, 对我而言只是多了点时间可以浪费..我很没出息??的确..
吃了两个饭盒..我的一天就即将这样子过去了..
明天..期待有少许的分别吗??当然..饭盒的菜色至少要有点不同吧哈哈..

爸爸出去了..又不知道是哪一位朋友什么请喝请吃之类的吧..爸爸穿了新衣..妈妈很不高兴..
"才卖了就穿..去这种小场面有必要穿成这样吗?那以后要去喝喜酒什么的你重复穿有什么好呢?"妈妈是这样说的..
爸爸依旧嬉皮笑脸的驾车子出去了..还很风骚的对妈妈说拜拜..
爸爸出去后, 妈妈对着我抱怨说"和我出去就穿的'老老少少', 和朋友普通出去都要穿好好看看的, 从来都没有这样尊重我过.."..
听了这句话, 我替我妈妈感到心痛..的确, 爸爸比较注重他的朋友多过于妈妈..为什么呢?我真的不明白..不是心爱的人吗??不是夫妻吗??难道..是腻了吗?厌倦了吗??我不明白..不明白为什么当年的妈妈回选择了现在的爸爸..我曾经问过..妈妈回答说:"结婚之前你爸爸不是这样的..哪有男人结婚前会让你看到他们这一面的.."..

看着现在的妈妈..我竟然害怕了..
感情会变, 性格会变, 人..是会改变的..
要学会靠自己照顾自己爱自己..太过于依赖可能只会带来伤害..我们爱的人或爱我们的人不会无时无刻在我们身边..当我们需要任何帮助或关怀的时候, 我们不一定能够得到..要学会独立..那么我们就可以将可能的伤害减到最少..
我..是这样认为的..

但是..能做到吗??

......

HATE to be HATED.. wtf..

2010-03-08T00:55:00.000-08:00

i hate someone..and hated by someone..the same one..
what the FUCK..
angry depressed mad rage fury

BURST!!!!

i tried to make the situation better but u never show any respect to me!! u hate me that much then just show it off to me!! don't need to fake ur fucking smile and said thank you okay?! u should know clearly what u have said behind me and in front of him!! so please don't act idiot or innocent or righteous in front of me lo fucker..
never meet such kind of SUCKSSSS person..adios ur head..shut up la bxxtaxd!!!

p/s: to him: sorry for not liking that person..i never mean to bring u to this situation..i really can't help hating him so damn much..i've tried to fix but it became worst..u should know it..sorry..

U.n.Me

2010-02-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

His birthday..
as a girlfriend..I didn't do anything special..I didn't gift him anything..useless..but he never blame me for this..hmm..haiz..
I've told my family about him..about our relationship..I did so just because of I am confident with him..with us..
went to his hometown and met his family..nothing special..not with any purpose..not to introduce me to them..just..just..don't know hehe..I am falling deeper and deeper..into his world..hahaha..
is getting more and more bored with studies here..feel hectic and excited every time I think about cny..can't wait to go back to ipoh..to gather with my beloved family..
this year..unfortunately..valentine's day falls on the 1st day of cny..haha this may be my 1st time to celebrate valentine's day as someone's girlfriend..but..without my boyfriend around me..gonna be sobz or lol?? =.='''
no new clothes for this new year..kinda sad le..anyway..be satisfied and give thanks..I am going to have a HAPPY chinese new year..
hmm..hope to do or meet something special..as an ornament to pull up my spirits..hope to meet my Ipoh friends also..miss them quite a lot..^^

God bless me..God bless you..God bless everyone..
Thank God..

tHE fIRST??

2009-12-25T07:23:00.000-08:00

Finally I deleted all my posts again..xienz=.='''

It's X'mas today..be merry, be happy..

I'm quite hectic..Jesus's birthday wor..a very big day for all christians haha..

Took many photos with my beloved sisters and brothers..chatted a lot with friends whom I never meet for quite a long time..and also..be with him in such an important day..

You looked so tired..

I'm happy that u care me so much..but please..take very good care of yourself as well..because I do care you also..never treat me too good..be selfish a little bit please..

Merry X'mas..goodnight and sweet dreams to all my friends out there..